Bisim Allah al rahman al raheem, wa Al hamdo lil'lah rabi al 3alameen, wa salato wa salam 3ala nabiyina.
Asalam a'alaykom wa ra7mato Allah wa barakto,
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Have you heard the story of Qa'ab ibno Malik?
In brief, he was suppose to go on ''jihad'' with the prophet (s) but his ''nafs'' his self and the ''shaitan'' made him say ''i can catch up, am not far'' etc... until he couldn't catch up and was left behind. That is a major major disobidiance to the prophet. So when the prophet (s) came back, he was smiling an angry smile at Qa'ab. Qa'ab told him the truth, and prophet (s) said ''and that man, has been truthful to God and his prophet, now get up until God passes his judgement on you''.
What was his ''kafaraaah'' or ''punishment''?
For 30 days no one talked to him and he was ''an outcast''. It was heavy on his heart, at times he cried... Imagine the prophet (s) doesn't talk to you, more dear to you than yourself. As we say, it is a huge ''bala'a" a huge heavey burden on one's heart. It was a
Tawbah he was going through. One day a man came and said ''QA'AB IBNO MALIK, where can i find QA'AB IBNO MALIK?" Messenger from the Sham king asking him to join him, knowing his friends have left him, it was another ''test'' another ''bala'a'' to Qa'ab ibno malik.Imagine the heaviness on Malik.
On the 40th day (i think), he was asked to ''seperate from his wife''. He asked '' divorce her !!!?" Well it was an order from the heavens, so he'd do it if he had too. But no, the messenger of the prophet (s), told him she has to go to her ''father's house'', not divorce, and so she did.
Imagine, no one talks to him, seperated from his family, all alone.
What a test, what a bala'a. Its part of any tawbah, to see if its truthfull.
So, on the 50th day,
Malik was sitting on the walls of the Masjid after Fajer prayer doing ''thikir''.
When the Sahaba (rathiya Allaho anhom) came running each yelling as hard as he can, but the message wasn't reaching him...
One of them had the smart idea of climbing a small hill and yelling ...
''O! QA'AB IBNO MALIK , GOOD NEWS COME (ABSHIR), your tawba is over, Allah has lifted this bala'a of of you ... ABSHIR YA QA'AB IBNO MALIK !"
Qa'ab said, when he heard it he fell on the floor and did ''sijood'' in thanks to his Lord.
He entered on the prophet (s) (ya bakhta :) ) and the prophet (s) told him your tawba is over and the Lord has brought down these verses from the heavens, being part of the quran, and they speak of your story and two other men, to be recieted till the day of judgement !
Malik was more than happy, that he wanted to give all his money as sadaqa, but the prophet (s) smiled and told him only 1/3 is enough.
All muslims go through ''bala'a'' being tested from time to time, as the prophet said, "All our situations are good, if we have bala'a or (a bad thing happening to us) we have patients and sabir, and if we get goods and great favor from our Lord we thank (nashkir) our Lord for it". Either way its a win win situation, with the ''bala'a'' giving us higher ranks and hasanat from il akhra, or judgment day.
Moral of the story:
Every TAWBAH or repetence is followed by a hard period ''bala'a'' which gets intense at times, just like a round bottle, with the head being narrow. We are inside the bottle and trapped in our ''sin'' and we repent and do tawbah and thus exit the bottle towards freedom, with a heart that day dreams in the heavens and lives in janah and not in earth.
But that narrow part is the hardest times (the test) one goes through, and patients, with salat, thikir, and do'a is esstential. Malik went through it, and his reward, his story is in the quran to be recieted till judgement day ( ya bakhta, Allah eebarikla). Let us hang in there, be patient, pray, and in our hearts hold our Lord and not let our eyes from the ultimate goal, to please our creator for he is the most merciful most kind, and to reach il Janah.
Here is the ayah (surrat Al-Tawbah - verse 119):
وَعَلَى الثَّلاَثَةِ الَّذِينَ خُلِّفُواْ حَتَّى إِذَا ضَاقَتْ عَلَيْهِمُ الأَرْضُ بِمَا رَحُبَتْ وَضَاقَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ أَنفُسُهُمْ وَظَنُّواْ أَن لاَّ مَلْجَأَ مِنَ اللّهِ إِلاَّ إِلَيْهِ ثُمَّ تَابَ عَلَيْهِمْ لِيَتُوبُواْ إِنَّ اللّهَ هُوَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ 118يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ اتَّقُواْ اللّهَ وَكُونُواْ مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ 119
May Allah make us from the ''sadiqeen'' and ''sabiqeen'' , ameen.
And my last prayers,An il Hamdo lilah Rab Al alameen
